Giving Birth

Isn't That What's His Name?

I recently had a difference of opinion with my producer. After hiring a casting director to help fill a lead role in the film, she found a name actor very interested in the project.

He had been a lead in a several popular teen movies, and had recently been on a hit tv show. He has a big following and would have definitely given us a much better chance of raising extra financing and getting distribution for the movie once it's made.

But it didn’t feel right. For starters this actor has a reputation for being a buff heart-throb. The character in my film is a nerdy insecure guy who never gets laid.  I was told; “We can put glasses on him and dress him down”. But I wasn’t buying it.

Casting is something that is VERY important to me. Sure, I have my typical celeb idols such as Meryl Streep, actors that will make me want to watch a movie even if it's not my cup of tea. But mostly, I love watching movies with unknown actors. I feel like celebs come with a certain amount of baggage. They are either super stars and the movie becomes more of a showcase for them than the story. Or the more likely situation for indies that can’t afford a huge star; You recognize the actor but don’t remember from where. So you spend a good part of the movie wondering what you have seen them in (or you pull out your smart phone to try to track them down on IMDB)

Either way, the audience is being distracted from the story.

I much more enjoy a film with excellent unknowns. There is no baggage. So I can focus on the story. A part of me also feels like I am being let in on an awesome secret. I wanna be the one to tell my friends; “You need to see this movie, and there’s this amazing actor."

In the end I cast an incredibly talented unknown actor who was right for the role, and I couldn’t be happier. But I know by doing this, it makes my producers job harder than it could have been. And I do feel a little bad about that.

How It Feels To Look Like Shit

It’s a Sunday afternoon and I’m walking down Hollywood Blvd holding a large pizza box. I’m on my way home. I plan to get home, eat this pizza and then lay in bed. I’m coming back from the Arclight where I went to see the new indie rom-com “Obvious Child” with my producers and cinematographer (we wanted to check out our competition). They have all gone out for dinner after the film, but I’m exhausted and I just need to be alone with my pizza. It’s been a tough week.

As I walk past a tacky souvenir shop, two Armenian guys (who I assume are the shopkeepers – because I’m racist) look me up and down. One says, “Hey baby. Why you so sad?”

I stop to reply. “I’m not sad. I’m actually really happy. I just look like shit.”

Neither of them correct me. I continue walking.

When I decided to take on this film project, I knew it would be stressful and I was prepared for that. Honestly, I thrive on stress. As I mentioned before, I’m a workaholic. What I didn’t take into account was the fact that my physical appearance might begin to show signs of this stress.

For example, I have apparently been scratching at my own face in my sleep, which has created several scratch marks. I also have a nervous twitch sometimes of rubbing my nose, so the skin around my nose has started peeling away. The combined result of both these habits is that I now look kind of like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer after a crash landing into a field of thorn bushes.

I also have a tendency to get acne breakouts during periods of stress and got a very large one in between my eyes, which I then decided to puncture with a needle in front of my bathroom mirror. The result of this? Well, my face is currently sporting a sizable stab wound.

I’ve also bitten all the skin around my finger nails, have gained a few pounds from eating junk food on the go and have bags under my eyes. But who gives a shit. I’m making a fucking movie.

MUST BE OK WITH TOPLESS NUDITY!!!!

So, now that I have your attention. Here goes:

I was torn over whether to try to tackle this topic. I don’t want to exploit a tragedy. But since someone else has already pushed it into a conversation on film, I feel OK to say something.

There has been a lot of talk about how mainstream media may have helped shape Elliot Rogers’ views on women. Along with following the #YesAllWomen trend on twitter, I’ve been trying to read as many articles about it as I can, from both sides of the fence.

I read an article by Ann Hornaday in The Washington Post:

“For generations, mass entertainment has been overwhelmingly controlled by white men, whose escapist fantasies so often revolve around vigilantism and sexual wish-fulfillment (often, if not always, featuring a steady through-line of casual misogyny),” she wrote. “How many students watch outsized frat-boy fantasies like ‘Neighbors’ and feel, as Rodger did, unjustly shut out of college life that should be full of ‘sex and fun and pleasure’? How many men, raised on a steady diet of Judd Apatow comedies in which the shlubby arrested adolescent always gets the girl, find that those happy endings constantly elude them and conclude, ‘It’s not fair’?”

It’s odd, but this opinion reminded me of part of the pitch for my film off my web site:

These movies can infect our expectations. They follow us out of the theaters. And when we look at our own lives and our own romantic relationships, we are always left feeling that we are incomplete. Where is our perfect match? Where is our happily ever after? Whatever joy we are given in the theater, we pay back by having to live romantic lives that can never live up to the unrealistic demands placed on us by movies.

What’s weird is that she’s talking about movies made for guys: sex comedies and action films. And I’m talking about movies made for women: romantic comedies. I don’t know if she’s right in linking this problem to this incident. But we’re both making the same point as it relates to movies in general.

The article also reminded me of another reason I decided to try to make this movie. I was an actress auditioning for roles that had no depth. When I’d look at the casting breakdowns these were the types of roles I’d have to choose from:

-       “Hot college girl. Every guy’s dream. Must have great body. ”

-       “Girl next door. Cute, sweet, all-american. Must be okay with topless nudity.”

-       “Sex kitten, must have model good looks.”

The female breakdowns were almost always only about looks, while the male breakdowns were real human beings with ambitions.  The times when I did stumble across a female character description that sounded interesting and complex, the project almost always had a female writer/director.

And once I started casting my film, I noticed that 2 out of 3 actresses’ reels contained a scene where they were being attacked, murdered or held hostage by a man. There were also a lot of scenes where the actress served only as a prize to be won.

Maybe these roles are the price for stories of “sexual wish fulfillment.” We don’t get to play real, dynamic characters because no real person would do the things our stories ask of them.

Screenwriting guru Robert McKee says that stories are “equipment for living.” What he means is that stories give us important information that helps us figure out how to live our lives. Is it possible that we’ve reached a point where our stories are failing at their job? Are we using faulty equipment?