I'm Flawed

It's amazing how trying to make a movie can encourage personal development and self reflection.

I’m a Control Freak.

I’ve always been this way. When I was a child my sister and I would collaborate on the decoration of the Christmas Tree. We’d split the tree half and half. Until she was done and left the room,  at which point I would redecorate her half without remorse. Because why the fuck are all the angels hanging out near the bottom of her side? Get your shit together, Sis.  

Now with this movie, I’ll be collaborating with a lot of people. Another writer, three or so producers, thirty-two actors, a cinematographer, set designers, hair and make up artists, to name a few. As I proceed I must allow for their vision within my tree.

Already I’ve found myself changing my tightly controlled view of what this movie will be. Particularly through the casting process. Alice a naïve and ditzy character, has become a very savvy student of philosophy. Marcus a very earnest and proud homosexual has become a half-closeted neurotic mess. Yet somehow Roxy, the character I will be playing, remains a self-righteous slut.

In other news - I’m a Workaholic.

My workaholism also stems back from my childhood. When I was 13 year old I worked at my neighbour’s hair salon, “Hair We Are”. Which is an inaccurate pun. Because although yes ‘here we are’ - no ‘hair we aren’t’. We only cut it. Actually, I only swept it up. For 5 bucks an hour! And no, this didn’t happen in 1968. It happened in the very late 90’s. And I'd like to thank my parents for encouraging child slave labor.

I worked at “Hair We Are” religiously. Even though I hated the job, and didn’t need the money. There was just something about the idea of being so busy that made me feel good about myself. Saying to my pre-pubescent friends “Oh, I'd love to come over and play, but actually I have to contribute to society. You asshole.” I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder.

I now am a workaholic in the entertainment industry. The one industry where you can actually make a lower hourly wage than working at “Hair We Are” in the 90’s. Still I show up, if only to get the opportunity at some point to call someone an asshole.